Kev's a Vampire!
by Lemons And Limes And Fluff
Summary: Oneshot Humor fic. Kevin gives Gwen love bites and Ben thinks Kevin's a Vampire. Rated for Sexual referances, love bites and a couple of curse words.


**Hi! LALAF here!**

**This is just a random idea that popped into my head while I was watching Twilight.**

**Kevin is not actually a vampire. It is just Ben's imagination; he saw a vampire movie.**

**I'll try not to make it too sexually graphic, but I probably will.**

**Set before all other of my fics.**

**Disclaimer: I own idea, words & account, not Ben 10 and the characters in it.**

Kev's a Vampire!

Ben shuddered as he watched the vampire bite a teenager in the movie he was watching. It wasn't the horror or blood or gore that freaked him out, just the scene where a blood-sucking monster was harming an innocent teen after it had gained her trust. It was an evil betrayal. Ben didn't like it. The beast killed the girl, then moved on to its next unsuspecting victim.

A half-hour later, the movie ended with the vampire being killed by a stake through the heart. Ben resisted the urge to cheer along with the fictional movie characters. _Serves that evil thing right,_ he thought.

Ben strolled downstairs and out of the door, thinking about how cool it would be to beat up a vampire, having nothing else to do but go for a walk until Sumo Slammers came on at six. He walked to Mr. Smoothies, where he saw Kevin and Gwen kissing at the table nearest to him. _Gross_, he thought. _But it'll take more than my colleges making out to stop me drinking my smoothie_.

"One carrot and orange smoothie, please." The man smiled at Ben, used to the strange orders and flavour combinations Ben usually made. It was normal.

"Certainly." The man poured two types of orangey slush into Ben's cup and put a lid on it. "Here you go." The man didn't ask for money. Ben had a lifetime supply of free Mr. Smoothies brand smoothies for saving the store a little over a month ago.

Slurping the slop up through the straw, Ben turned around to face the lovebirds behind him – and the sight that met his eyes made him drop his precious smoothie.

_Kevin was biting Gwen's neck._

Gwen had tilted her head to the side, and Kevin had held her close and bit her neck. _He's a Vampire_, Ben thought, remembering the movie. _He gained her trust, and turned on her, and he's hurting her for his own evil gain._

Gwen moaned loudly as Kevin's mouth found her pulse point. Slight waves of pained pleasure came from the small marks on her neck where Kevin had nipped her.

"Hey!" Ben yelled at the beast before him. "What do you think you're doing to my cousin?"

Kevin let go of Gwen, surprised to hear Ben shouting behind him. He hadn't known he was there. "What?"

"You know what!" Ben growled at his monster ex-friend. "How DARE you do that to Gwen!"

"Whoa, I wasn't doing anything bad," the raven-haired teen said quickly, backing away as Ben put a hand to his Ultimatrix.

"Ben, don't!" Gwen shouted, standing between the hero and the beast. Kevin turned and ran back to his car.

"Gwen, that man's a monster, and he's getting away," Ben whined.

"He's not a monster!" Gwen insisted. "Don't call him that!"

"But he is! He was biting you!" Ben said, angry at both the beast and the fact that the victim was standing up for it.

"I was letting him!" Gwen argued. "I'm going home." With that, she turned and walked away.

...

Gwen put the DVD in the disc slot and curled up on the couch. Twilight was her favourite movie; it had been ever since Julie almost physically forced her to go to the movies to see it. She was just getting into the movie when her phone rang. It was Kevin.

"Hi Kev," she said into the mobile. "What's up?"

"Your cousin just came to my place," said her boyfriend. "Guess what to talk about?"

"The love bite?" Gwen remembered Ben's overreaction to the nibble earlier.

"Yeah, but get this..."

"What?"

"_It's because he thinks I'm a fucking vampire_!" Kevin laughed. "So I said to him, as a joke, 'So you've figured it out, huh?', and he tried to attack me!"

"Seriously?" Gwen couldn't believe – no, wait, she could. She _could_ believe that her cousin thought Kevin was a vamp.

"Yeah! He's looking for me now; I ran away, and I didn't tell him I'm not one!"

Gwen giggled. "Where are you now?

"Your back yard."

Gwen resisted the urge to shriek excitedly. "Come in! Oh, he's so dumb!"

"Yeah, I know." Kevin hung up and stepped inside the house and went into the lounge where Gwen was watching TV. She hugged him.

"Do you think Ben will try to kill you?" Gwen laughed.

"Probably." He pushed Gwen onto the couch. "When he finds me."

Gwen laughed again and pulled Kevin down too. He moved so that he pinned Gwen down, and could hold her still as he kissed her. He licked her bottom lip, asking for entry. Gwen opened her mouth wide enough for Kevin to slide his tongue into her mouth. He flicked her tongue with his, coaxing her into playing with him. She smiled into the kiss and flicked back.

Drawing his tongue back into his own mouth, he moved down to her neck again, nipping at her flesh, tugging at it, making her moan and wriggle beneath him in pleasure and lust. He left bruise marks on her neck that would be there for days.

"AT IT AGAIN, ARE WE?" Ben's angry human voice broke Kevin away from his girlfriend. "COULDN'T RESIST THE BLOODLUST?"

"I'm not a vampire, you fucking idiot!" Kevin roared. "Ever heard of a love bite?"

"You're _not_ a vampire?" Ben asked stupidly.

"No!" Kevin roared. Gwen couldn't help it – she burst out laughing.

"But... then... why were you...?" Ben was confused.

"Love bites/hickeys/slag tag. LOOK IT UP." Those were the final words of the conversation. Kevin scooped up Gwen in his arms, bridal style, and went upstairs.

Ben, frowning, pulled a dictionary off the shelf. "Love bites... love bites... here we are." Ben found the page. "Let's see... 'A temporary mark resulting from biting or sucking by their lover, usually bedroom use'..."

Ben slammed the book shut and went to the bottom of the stairs, then shouted: "I KNOW WHAT YOU'E DOING UP THERE!"

**LOL sorry it a bit of a graphic scene.**

**Was it funny? Did you find it even slightly amusing?**

**Review plz!**


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